Duke Nukem Forever’s New Fanny Smacking Feature

The Penny Arcade web comic had a strip about Duke Nukem Forever’s new game feature. Alas, the punchline within the strip falls flat and the commentary that goes with it was incoherent (as often is the case). But, this is the reason why I read this particular web comic, it points out that Duke Nukem Forever—the AAA-title first person shooter that’s been in development since 1996—has a new feature. What kind of new feature? The ability for Duke “Come Get Some” Nukem—think John Wayne on steroids—to physically throw a woman over his shoulder and smack her fanny in a Capture The Babe multiplayer mode.

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The Duke Nukem video game franchise always did treat women as a sex objects. The first level of the original game featured a strip club and porno theater where the women strippers danced on the tables and showed their pixelated boobs for money. (Not surprisingly, there was a hack to remove the pixelation.) Now DNF will have a Capture The Babe multiplayer game mode, which should be outrageously over the top without being too sexist and too politically incorrect. Then again, maybe not.

When I worked at Accolade/Infogrames/Atari (same company, different owners, multiple identity crises), I tested “Duke Nukem: Land of The Babes” for the Playstation in 2000. The Duke was brought into the future to rescue Earth from the evil aliens after all the male humans were killed off, leaving behind an all female resistance force. Yes, there was a strip club and porno theater in the space station. I don’t recall seeing any pixelated boobs. I did find a blurry black-and-white picture of someone’s cock on the porno screen inside the game. The CEO was visiting from France to check out the new games when the lead tester called him over. He didn’t like seeing someone’s cock in the game, which may or may not have belonged to the head programmer, and a few angry phone calls had the picture pulled from the game. The publishing rights for future Duke Nukem games were sold to another company since Accolade/Infogrames/Atari was becoming a more family friendly video game company (although that wasn’t the last time I bugged cocks in a game). I loved the Bill Clinton ending where the Duke opens up the Lincoln Bedroom at the White House to long lines of women waiting their turn to be impregnated by him as he single-handledly repopulates the planet.

Duke Nukem Forever is finally coming out after all these years years. I’ll believe when it I see it.