I got the flu shot for the first time a few days ago. That was interesting experience, as I have a fear of needles. I had an old doctor who always wanted two things from me as a young child: a finger up my ass and a blood test. I told no one about the finger thing since he was a doctor (my mother wasn’t allowed in the examination room). We later found out he got a kickback from the testing lab that drew my blood when he suddenly retired to Florida. The test lab was later shut down during a criminal investigation by the police.

With free flu shots available at work, I went to the exercise room at the appointed time. I made an ass out of myself in front of a dozen coworkers with my fearfulness. Amused by the sight of a big guy jumping in and out line over getting a flu shot, they insisted that I cut to the head of the line.

The nurse told me to relax since I have such a big arm muscles that I wouldn’t feel a thing. I stared hard at the wall that had these diagrams on how to exercise the right way and the wrong way, trying to focus on anything. I smelled the pungent scent of alcohol and felt the burning sensation of the alcohol being applied to the skin of my upper left arm. Then the nurse said it was all over.

I didn’t feel a thing.

When I asked her if she was mistaken, she told me to leave. My coworkers were clapping as I left the room in a daze. The pain around the shot area didn’t kick in until later that night. The problem with taking the shot in the left arm is that I sleep on my left side. It was no fun taking my Finite Math midterm exam the following night with a sore arm and being sleep deprived. I got my flu shot and a “C” on the midterm.