Are you an authentic influencer, public figure, or brand in the San Francisco Bay Area? A new service rolled out to add a “verified badge crest”—a Twitter-style blue checkmark—to the outside of your home. It’s called Blue Check Homes. I’ll walk you through the process of getting your own home verified.
Overview
The first step is to apply for a blue checkmark. Fill out the form on the website with your name, social media accounts, and email address. Click the “Start Application” button to submit your application.
The second step is to wait for a review and an interview with the board.
The third step, if approved, is to pay the fee and get your blue checkmark installed.
Application
The list of who can apply is quite extensive on the website. Here’s the short version: you need to be important and own a home in the Bay Area. Almost everyone in the Bay Area is important. But almost no one is important enough to own a home. That could explain why only 495 people applied out of six million people in the Bay Area.
Installation
For verified homeowners, the installation fee is $3,000 USD. Once the check clears the bank, the Blue Check Homes installation team will install your blue checkmark.
If you’re important enough to buy a second home or move for whatever reason, you will need to reapply for a new blue checkmark. You don’t need to remove the blue checkmark from your old home, as it will become a historical feature of the house.
Assessment
You do have to maintain your status of being an important person in the community. If for any reason you no longer meet the criteria for the blue checkmark, it will be removed from your home at no cost to you. Without a blue checkmark on your house, no one in your neighborhood will ever remember that a special snowflake lived near them.
What’s the catch about getting a blue checkmark for your home? It’s not real.
The Blue Check Homes is a parody website and doesn’t exist as an actual service. Snopes went so far to label the website as satire after the tweet promoting the website went viral. Old Victorian homes have status symbols on the outside that no longer have any meaning today. A blue checkmark in real life would also be meaningless.
If you want a traditional status symbol for your home, buy a fancy car that you obviously can’t afford to own. Your neighbors will know you’re faking it anyway.