Are You Ready for The Area 51 Naruto Run?

    If you missed out on attending AlienCon Los Angeles like I did last month, there’s a new “alien con” taking place on Friday, September 20, 2019. The Area 51 Naruto Run in the southern Nevada desert. Over one million people will storm Area 51 to find the aliens and the UFOs that the US government stashed away since the 1947 crash in Roswell, New Mexico. The plan is for everyone to meet at the Area 51 Alien Center on US-95. During the wee hours of the morning, everyone will travel to surround Area 51 from every direction. If you perform the Naruto Run just right, you should outrun the bullets as military personnel tries to stop everyone from seeing those aliens. If you can’t outrun the bullets, you will die knowing that the Area 51 Naruto Run was one of the greatest “alien con” you have ever attended.

    If you haven’t already figured it out yet, the “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All Of Us” on Facebook is a parody meme that too many people are taking too seriously. The parody meme started off as a joke by California college student, Matty Roberts, on June 27, 2019. Over a million people indicated a commitment or an interest in storming Area 51 in the first three days that the page went live. No one expects a million people to show up at Area 51 on Friday, September 20, 2019. The US Air Force and local authorities, however, are taking seriously that too many people will show up anyway.

    What is the Area 51 Naruto Run? 

    Area 51 is the popular nickname for the top-secret US Air Force training base at Groom Lake, 120 miles northwest of Las Vegas. A very small area that is also downwind from the Nevada Test Site for testing nuclear weapons. Both Area 51 and the Nevada Test Site are within the Nellis Air Force Range for training combat pilots with the use of live weapons. The entire region is a no trespass zone for civilians and unauthorized military personnel.

    The development of the U-2 during the 1950s gave Area 51 its reputation for Unidentified Flying Objects, or UFOs. The sleek Lockheed aircraft had an unusual design for aircraft of that era, flew 65,000 feet above the earth, and the pilot wore a spaceman-like pressure suit. With the U-2 and other experimental aircraft flying above the Nevada desert, people reported strange lights and unusual sounds in the skies above. Military and government officials refer to UFOs as “weather balloons” or “natural phenomena”. In fact, the UFO mythology of the last 70 years may have been “fake news” created by the government to cover up new aircraft than anything from out of this world.

    As I pointed out in my AlienCon 2016 review video, UFO fans are different than science fiction and fantasy fans. They are true believers who are serious about what they believe. When the CIA declassified documents in 2013 that officially recognized Area 51, UFO fans camped out on the Extraterrestrial Highway with the hope of seeing an extraterrestrial flyby. With the Internet siren call for non-believers to storm Area 51, UFO fans will have no choice but to show up and get in on the action.

    The Area 51 Naruto Run will not be a moonwalk. The southern Nevada desert at the end of summer is going to be very hot with temperatures over 100F degrees. Water, restrooms and cellphone reception are nowhere to be found. The sheriff department will use tear gas and rubber bullets to breakup the crowds. Military personnel can use real bullets, if necessary, to stop trespassers. 

    In 2014, a tour bus inadvertently drove past the warning sign that they were entering Area 51. They were soon pulled over by military personal without incident. The passengers inside the tour bus thought that the stop was part of the tour. Until the sheriff deputies arrived to escort them off the base and cite them for trespassing.

    In 2016, a BBC TV film crew of a dozen people deliberately trespassed into Area 51. A half-dozen guards had them handcuffed and laid face down on the ground for three hours. They later learned that 20 additional guards have driven up from the base, an Apache attack helicopter was monitoring the situation from the air two miles away, and Washington called London to report the security breach. After they were individually escorted from the base, the sheriff department cited them for trespassing and government agents in unmarked cars followed them around for days. 

    Earlier this year a man drove past a security checkpoint, stopped eight miles inside Area 51, and refused verbal orders to surrender. He was shot dead. Except for the official PR statement, no other information was available about who this person was or why he was at Area 51.

    The Naruto Run is a Japanese meme based on the anime series called Naruto, about a young boy training to be a ninja. One of his ninja powers is the ability to run super-fast by leaning forward with his arms behind him to reduce air drag. The Naruto Run as a real-life event became popular in Japan and elsewhere since 2017, as hundreds of people ran like this anime character.

    I used to run like that in kindergarten, but I was holding my jacket back and screaming, “Batman!”

    Keep in mind that the fastest human can sprint 40 MPH. A real bullet can travel up to 1,700 MPH. When storming Area 51, the bullets will be coming towards you as you run towards the bullets. It’s going to hurt like a sumbitch for those on the front line. If you want to survive long enough to see those aliens, stay away from the front line and stay far back as possible to let others fall for the cause.

    I was never into Naruto as an anime series. I was more into Please Teacher, about a female teacher who had a romantic relationship with a high school student. Before you jump to conclusions, the teacher was a half-human observer from outer space and the high school student was an 18-year-old suffering from a rare medical condition that made him look younger than he was. While their relationship as next door neighbors and in the classroom were questionable, it was all appropriate in the eye of the law.

    The Area 51 Alien Center on US-95 is about 75 miles southwest of Area 51. This is not the Alien Research Center on NV-375, otherwise known as the Extraterrestrial Highway, that is nearby to Area 51. The Area 51 Alien Center is not a museum and souvenir shop but is probably the only alien-themed whorehouse on the planet. As a reminder, prostitution is legal in Nevada. If storming Area 51 ends up in a bust, you might have better luck doing the Naruto Run with a prostitute in bed. No word on whether the prostitutes are Americans or illegal aliens from outer space.

    The Area 51 Naruto Run is a parody meme, do not take it seriously, and stay away from Area 51 for your own safety.


    PERSONAL DISCLAIMER: I work in government I.T. for a three-letter agency in the United States. I will not be going, and I do not encourage you to go to the Area 51 Naruto Run. This blog post is for informational and educational purposes only.

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